Contemplation and Realisation ♥

Well..I haven't done this for a while!

It hit me today, that we rush on with our lives, and hardly stop to sit back and look back on the incredible things we've done...either that or we do it too often and stop living!

So here's what I'm proposing...

This new year, I'm going to really start to live properly (eek!) this blog has helped me heaps- to get my feeling onto paper (not quite but you know what I mean!) and figure out my mixed up feelings..
so even if no-one reads this, its a lesson for me anyway!

A few things i am going to TRY and do..

• grow my hair!!
• be a better listener...its all fine and dandy to listen, but to actually be able to empathise and figure out whats needed
• Make time for my friends...
• Organise my time properly
• show people my real personality and if they don't like it. meh.
• maybe find my faith again?

well we can only hope...and eat cake and stuff  (teehee)

so why don't you write yourself a letter for the year, and really say what you want to get out of this year..because to be honest with you, LIFE is just a series of days, hours and minutes and if you don't do the things you want in those days, hours, and minutes..when are you going to ever do them?

so. this year. make it worth living. choose your own life. be true to yourself and have a laugh! why not?!?!

Bless you all and have a fab NEW YEAR!!!!!!!  Xx

Family Life

Family can be difficult sometimes, but ultimately there the best thing going. family should always be there when you need them and sometimes we just need to know the right way of dealing with them! the first thing we need to remember is that no-one is perfect-everyone makes mistakes and sometimes its just not worth holding a grudge. Family are your family no matter what you do which is kinda what makes them so great!

whether you have a good relationship with your family or not, there are a few things that are key to keeping it or making it stronger
- forgiveness, without it no one can move on and try to do better
- communication, if you don't talk about stuff hows anything going to be achieved?
- honesty, they are your family lying just makes it worse and harder to move on
- teamwork! being part of a family is being part of a team, you work together and it works a lot better
- love, its what makes everything worth it

okay so no-one is going to have all of these handed over to them on a silver platter, it takes time and effort but the final outcome is incredible! when you start bringing these factors into family life, it becomes so much easier to be with each other and deal with any issues that come up.
also, no one is going to have the 'happy family' picture perfect family all the time and that's where the forgiveness kicks in, we have to learn that our expectations of what family 'should be' aren't very realistic sometimes and remember that everyone is only human and is prone to making mistakes.

10 tips for improving family life!

1. if your feeling angry or upset, take some time to cool off so that when you confront the issue, you have a calm and collected attitude instead of hot firing
2. if you've done something wrong, fess up! there is no point lying..they're your family!
3. you got a different idea? speak up! your opinion counts, but don't be harsh with how you put it
4. conflict between family members? approach with caution and suggest going elsewhere (separately) for half an hour and coming back to discuss it a bit later?
5. why not try a 'teambuilding' activity? board games, cooking, a walk somewhere, being together is what counts
6. live away from home? send a letter home with separate bits for each member, they'll appreciate the personal touch
7. make an effort to spend time with each member individually, you can go do something or just chat but its worth the effort
8. as a family, choose an activity for everyone to do, then get each person to have a specific 'job' or 'role' during the activity chosen
9. in the morning, everyone decide on 1 rule for each member of the family that they must follow throughout all of the day -it will be a laugh and a chance to tactfully get some things done! (i.e no sarcasm, no stupid jokes, no negative comments)
10. try not to alienate who your family is, subtle changes are good-not everyone is good at handling new ideas so take it easy!

hope all goes well xx

A.R.K's (acts of random kindness)

hiya guys...

I think that a.r.k's are such a lovely idea, and if we all took part the world would be such a lovely place! Okay, so maybe world kindness is a bit adventurous but just a few of us doing it will make a big difference to the people we work/live with...so let me first explain what on earth I am talking about!
A.r.k's are little things you can do for another person without them knowing its you...for example I used to bake cakes leave them on my teachers desk with a note (a bit lame I know!) but its a great feeling to know you've helped someone else or blessed them somehow...it can be anything so use your imagination!

Ever had something lovely randomly happen to you? isn't it the best feeling? someone wise once said "happiness is a perfume you cant pour on other people without getting a few drops on yourself" this co insides beautifully with the objective of doing a.r.k's...whether its leaving a note on someones desk, or tidying up your partner's 'stuff' while they're out ,its all kindness, but the point of a.r.k's is that they are done without the person knowing who did it. You may be familiar with a.r.k's from the movie 'Evan Almighty' (if you haven't watched it, you should!)

so why should we do them? I think a.r.k's are a practical way of teaching us a lesson we should all be familiar with. generosity. whether its our time, a task, or a gift of some sorts, generosity is simply one person giving something to someone else. to be generous is to be liberal with what we give and not being stingy, so when you think up what you're a.r.k will be, try and give something 'generously' to show you've actually thought about it and your kindness will shine through! what can you give this week?

10 ideas for A.r.k's for friends/collegues/family

1. make them a cup of tea and leave it where they will be working/relaxing
2. someone mentioned something they'd love? pick up on what people are saying, they may give you some ideas
3. duties like washing up or putting the kids to bed? give them a break and do it before they get the chance
4. write a little card/note and leave it somewhere they are sure to see
5. do they have a faverourite meal? maybe you could make it for them!
6. have you promised to do something and never got round to it? late is better than never!
7. they feeling low? burn them a cd of all their favourite happy songs
8. its getting colder now...(this is for family) you could put a hot water bottle at the end of their mattress under the duvet-warm feet are so nice in winter!
9. collegue struggling? maybe you coul help them out with whatever it is their struggling with-a list of tips is always helpful
10. (friends and family) get everyone to write down 3 reasons why the person is great and leave it somewhere they will see it

Hope this helps! xx

Are you scared of the silence?

Hi everyone..bit of a random title right? when I say 'scared' I'm not saying we have a phobia or anything, its  more in the sense that we tend to avoid it if we can. we often associate silence with awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings, but silence is simply the absence of noise! okay...well think about it, wherever you are right now, reading this...how many sounds can you hear? cars going past? music? computer whirring? children/siblings/partner doing other stuff...try and remember the last time it was completely silent. when you couldn't hear anything but your own breathing. no clocks. difficult? let me explain my point.

dictionary definition of silence

silence

noun

1. absence of any sound or noise; stillness.

2. the state or fact of being silent; muteness.

3. absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern

if silence is all about stillness and quiet, how come its so difficult to find?! lets look at another definition..

relaxing–verb (used without object)

6. to become less tense, rigid, or firm.

7. to become less strict or severe; grow milder.

8. to reduce or stop work, effort, application, etc., esp. for the sake of rest or recreation.

9. to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc.

this sounds pretty good right?

It says 'stop work' aka be still...

It says release from inhibition aka to stop doing something

It says to become less tense/rigid aka to be calm

get the idea?

I believe that if we all took some 'time out' in silence just reminiscing and just spending a bit of time with yourself and your own thoughts, that we would be a lot less stressed out and become more relaxed.
I don't know about you, but my 'time out' is sitting in my room, on my bed with some music on or watching a movie or facebooking. not so quiet eh? well, with all the conveniences we are so blessed with, silence just isn't the norm anymore, we fill up our days with noise, busying ourselves with all the things we 'have' to do.

maybe we could all do a bit of a mission, a challenge with ourselves to overcome our 'fear of silence' take out a couple of hours this week and just sit/lie in silence for a bit, leaving yourselves with our own thoughts and just relaxing, 'letting go' of all the 'stuff' in our busy lives, and see how we feel after? I challenge you to 'fight the fear of silence'

hope all goes well! xx

10 tips to becoming less 'afraid' of silence and more relaxed

1. find somewhere you can 'escape' to and go there when you feel overwhelmed
2. write a blog/diary
3. when your feeling particularly stressed, don't do more stuff to try and work it our, write a list of all the things you have to do and work it through one by one
4. if you drive/walk to your work, turn off your music or the radio and just drive/walk in the quiet
5. learn a slow breathing exercise and go through it at least twice a day-it will calm you and help you to think straight as it will increase the level of oxygen to your brain
6. do some shoulder rolls (rolling them round in circular motions up to a hunching motion and then all the way round till normal position) this will loosen you up and stop you being so tense
7. open some windows and enjoy the fresh air!
8. in your break, go for a walk on your own or with a friend and just enjoy the quiet
9. get enough sleep! lack of sleep is a major cause of stress
10. drink plenty, dehydration will leave you feeling tired and unfocused

Guys!

Okay...this is a tricky one!
Some of you will have boyfriends/husbands/partners etc but you might be single at the moment...you may have decided when you want to start dating or if you'll stay single for ever, or you may just be waiting for Mr.Perfect to come along! BUT either way, I bet you've all met that guy who you really like..hes sweet or funny or cheeky and you have a major 'thing' for him! Guys are very complicated..and unfortunately they do mature a lot slower than us girls and so have a tendency to be silly and immature even when they grow up!

I'm not going to try and separate guys into categories because its kind of stereotypical and may not be true...but I'm sure you can think of some! Guys, just like Girls need certain types of things..but all guys are different and the sooner you can figure out what he needs and likes, the more likely you are to get on better and connect better as well. I learnt from a good friend of mine that everybody has their own 'love language' don't worry its not as weird as it sounds! here are a few examples..

Quality time:  these people like to have one-to-one conversations and aren't as keen on being in big groups
Giving: these people like to buy gifts/presents for others to show their love
Doing: these people like to give their time to show love and like to do jobs/chores for others to help them
Affirmation: these people like to compliment/encourage others through words to show love

All these love languages are how people show their love towards other people, but its also how they like to be loved back..if they don't receive this then they can feel cheated or unloved..even if you don't mean it!

10 ways to figure out your guy (this applies to people who aren't single! I'll do another one for singles!)

1. try out each language and see which he responds to best
2. look back on the things your guy has done for you in the past...which language do they correspond to best?
3. have a chat to your guy and you can grow on your communications skills at the same time!
4. spend some time together just you and him, but also hang out with groups of couples or friends, he'll notice the freedom and you'll benefit from the quality time too!
5. write each other a questionnaire about yourself, get each other to answer them and see how well you know each other!
6. hand him the remote for once...maybe let him choose some things? (meals/places to go/dates) he'll appreciate the responsibility
7. ask him what his favourite qualities in a partner but nothing negative!
8. once you've worked out his love language, try and think of some ways to show him you love him through his language..he'll love it!
9. maybe you could organise him a lads night and go out for the evening with some of your friends
10. haven't seen him for a while? you could organise a 'date' and do something you both love...together!

10 things for single girls to do (if your not looking for a partner you can just use this to get good guy mates)

1. be yourself, guys DO NOT like girls who are fake or pretend to be somehting they're not
2. chill out! just have a laugh and be fun to be around!
3. give him some space...guys arent so keen on clingy girls
4.  be natural...maybe ease up on the foundation bucket and tone down the orange cheeks..natural beauty is the best of all!
5. be interested and interesting, pay attention when he's talking..ask him questions-it will show him you actually care! also dont just tell him the same things all the time, talk about things that are interesting and not just what you ate for tea last night!
6. be confident..easier said than done but guys definatly prefer girls who are confident in their body AND in who they are
7. dont be over-excitable...this may scare them off!!
8. dont be too serious..haha its a tricky game to juggle
9. you can also use the love languages..just because your not 'in love' doesnt mean you dont love each other as mates right?
10. BE YOURSELF!!!! (again)

Be True To Yourself!

Hey everyone..
sorry its taken so long to write another post...here goes!

Something has really spoken to me recently...all the things i do on an everyday basis and hearing people comment on me i realised 'who am i doing this for?'
are you being true to yourself?
are you being who you are inside or trying to fit everyone else's view of you?
do you merge into the background?
do you pretend to be someone you know your not?
this may not apply to everyone, but i think its a good idea to look back on yourself sometimes and see if you are doing the things you wanna do and not what everyone else is doing..
it can be difficult, with peer pressure (and believe me, its not just something that happens at school, it goes with you wherever you are) to be yourself around the same people but here are a few tips for 'beiong true to yourself'

1) make a playlist of all YOUR favourite songs and listen to it as much as you can)
2) find loads of old pictures of yourself and make a personalized photo album of you 'growing up' so you can always remember how far you've come and how much you have 'developed' over the years
3)write a letter to yourself to open in the future, include all your dreams, worries, and future plans...it'll really encourage you to explore who you are and what your future holds!
4) go on a mini shopping trip, and buy all the things that remind you of you! (doesn't have to cost a small fortune!)
5) watch your old favourite movies
6) meet up with some old friends or organise a family get-together
7) pick up a new hobby/club you've always wanted to do
8) have a look through some hair magazines and get a completely new style! but make sure you do the choosing!
9) make yourself a 'me me me' mood board with everything you love (pictures, fabrics,  tickets etc)
10) look back at all the things you've achieved in your life....

Stay true to yourself...God bless!! xxx

Friendships

LISTEN TO 'DEMI LOVATO' GIFT OF A FRIEND

Friendships are like roller coasters. bet you've heard that before? well its totally true!
no friendship is always perfect, and there are always going to be times where you just get on each others nerves. when it gets to that point there are a few options.
-argue until someone breaks
-throw a paddy and bitch about them to everyone
- talk calmly and come to a sensible compromise
-give up and 'move on'

Which sounds like something you would do?
It often depends on the type of person you are..but to be honest only one of them is going to help you stay friends and keep your friendship strong. guess which?!
girls are especially difficult as we tend to get very close and confide in one another (not a bad thing!) but this also means that you both then know what makes the other tick, what get them really mad or sad. some of us girls love to share everything with one another, while maybe the other friend likes to keep her emotions to herself.
It can be difficult to overcome hurdles in relationships and we can so easily decide to get really mad about whatever the tiff is about, and as a result, do/say something we will regret later on but think that we 'dont care' at the time.

When relationships are becoming strained, its really important to communicate with each other! before you run off and tell everyone the awful thing that's happened..why don't you give each other some time to cool down and mellow a bit, then organise a time you can get together in a civilised manner, and discuss whats wrong. so much of the time its just a lack of communication or a misunderstanding..this may sound like the last thing you want to do..honest i know! but its soo worth it in the end.

LISTEN TO 'HILARY AND HAILEY DUFF' OUR LIPS ARE SEALED
10 Things to build your friendships

1. Organise a sleepover with a good movie and plenty of nibbles...get some quality natter time in there too! age is no boundary here, anyone can have a sleepover!
2. slip a note into your Friends bag/clothes saying something encouraging about him/her and show them how you really feel
3. write a list of 10 reasons why your friend is really great and post it to them to keep-this will leave them feeling really special and encouraged
4. treat your friend to something they wouldn't normally do- a salon treatment, a coffee out, a trip to the cinema, a day of baking together!
5. try to text/email/write to each other as often as possible
6. go on a shopping spree together!
7. why don't you organise to both bring a friend along to meet up, it will be a laugh and you may make a new friend!
8. have a look around and find a club/activity you could do together..anything is fun from knitting club to scrapbook making
9. if your friend lives far away, why not make up a hamper of little presents and send it to them as a surprise, they'll love it and it will give you a buzz to know you've blessed someone else
10. have fun! get together and do what you both love! whatever it may be..be creative!

Beauty

We girls spend all our lives trying to figure out 'who we are' by attempting to change ourselves, we go to all sorts of measures...like messing with our hair, perfecting our nails, wearing make-up, shopping, dieting, and generally attempting to make ourselves feel good and beautiful (which I do hasten to add isn't all bad, and can be a lot of fun!) but really girls..are we ever really satisfied? I don't think so.
I'm not writing this to make you feel bad, or even say that I am beyond it..just point out a few things to consider. LISTEN TO 'DESTINYS CHILD'  GOSPEL MELODY
 
We are constantly bombarded with images and advertising from the media and people around us, that tell us we are imperfect, too fat/too skinny,our hair isn't the right colour/length/style and our bodies aren't what they should look like,our clothes are out of fashion or our relationships are fatal.

Well girls..we are never going to be like those super-curvy, perfect white teeth, tanned,  actresses/models/singers without loosing the things that really matter. you know what we should wanna aspire to?
we should want to become women who are confident in themselves, secure in 'who they are',world changing, bubbly, honest, loyal, mature, thoughtful, passionate, caring, patient, loving, forgiving, etc..  doesn't that sound like the ultimate best friend?
 
We can all be like that if we choose to..sure,its not always gonna be an easy ride..there are going be storms and bumpy patches...but if we really want it and realise that it is attractive, then we CAN be those girls, and we can help our fellow 'sisters' to become wonderful, inspirational women! I honestly believe that if we deal with all the negative inputs in our lives, and realise our potential as beautiful women, then we would strive for 'inner beauty' and all of those characteristics with all the energy and passion we put into making ourselves look good on the outside we could do it.
(LISTEN TO 'DESTINYS CHILD' HAPPY FACE)

10 things to pamper yourself

1. Put on a face mask..so much fun and you're face will feel great afterwards! have a look online for some DIY face masks!
2. Paint your nails..choose a happy colour and brighten your outfit instantly and enjoy showing off your glam hands! (if you bite your nails, maybe paint your toe-nails?)
3. Do a hand soak..fill a bowl with warm water and some lemon or warm up some olive oil and soak your hand in it for 5 mins..perfect for weak nails!
4. Have a hot bath..use some bubbly bath soak and relax in the soothing water!
5. Hug a hot water bottle..just like a real hug, but warmer!
6. Do your hair nicely,choose your fave outfit,and do your own home made photo-shoot,then you can always remind yourself of how beautiful you are
7. Make yourself a cup of hot chocolate and watch your fave movie with your PJ'S and your duvet
8. Ask everyone in your house to tell you 3 positive things about yourself..sure to make you smile!
9. Go on a shopping spree..no need to spend loads of money, check out some charity shops,honest-you'll be surprised!
10. Relax on your bed with a good book and a mug of something warm